From Siobhan

Dearest, dearest father,

I know you know how much I love you and I know your love for me. You lived your life right. You are a righteous dude. You set an example. You love us unconditionally. You told us we could do anything. You set that example in yourself.

I'm so sad that you're gone and I miss you terribly. I know you would say que sabe or whatever, basically you would say that we all kick the bucket one day and I'm grateful to be mourning you instead of you mourning me.

Your greatest of many great gifts that you gave me is our family. I'm so grateful that you and Angeles found each other and that I gained three wonderful sisters from the union. I'm grateful for my brother, Tabby, Alianna and Arwyn. I'm grateful for Uncle Ed, Aunt Mary Etta, Cousin Philip, Katrina, Maddie, Lucy, Uncle Frank, Aunt Sharon, Kelly and Richie.

You were an unconventional dad. Between you, my mom and Chris, you guys dragged us all over the world. Tristan was even born out of the country although Oaxaca can hardly be considered foreign. 

My heart is heavy and I hope that somehow you can continue to give me fantastic advice from the afterlife. I think of you and 'Lupe dancing together in the afterlife, hardly even aware of our grief. But I know you are concerned for Angeles and we will do our best to shepard her through this very deep valley.

We are so proud of you and the way you lived your life. You were such a good man, an honorable man who loved. You loved people and you loved life. I remember talking to you about depression and you told me that when you had bouts of sadness that eventually being sad would become too boring and you would go back to being happy.

Thank you for all that you did. You introduced me to sushi and NWA. There was always music playing in our home and your office at UNC was plastered with Marvin Gaye posters. You were so accepting of everyone and encouraged people to be as they are.

I want to be a better person because of you. I know you love me and are proud of me but I'm going to be even better. I promise to stop being petty to my brother and Tabby. And, in honor of your memory, I will be as loving and compassionate as you were to all.

I'm so grateful to have had you in my life - to have been borne to you. I know that God loves me because you were chosen as my dad. I'm honored to carry your genes in my body.

I will miss you but try not to be mopey and to live my life by your example - exploring new cultures, expanding minds, laughing, dancing, listening to great music, eating fabulous meals with people I love - being present, aware and unafraid.

My dearest, beloved father, I love you so much.